Taking Off the Filter: Finding My People

No matter how many hours (and pounds!) I’ve poured into self-development, there’s one thing I’ve been brilliant at teaching but not so great at actually doing: being my true self.

Like so many of us, I was conditioned early on to play small. To worry about rejection. To hide behind a neat little version of me that felt “acceptable.” But after this past year — seeing who really has my back and who vanishes when life gets messy — I’ve decided it’s time to drop the mask. No more filters. What you see is what you get: a little messy, a bit sarcastic, often fuelled by coffee, but always real.

On My Knees, But Not Beaten

The truth is, I’ve come through one of the hardest periods of my life — one that left me on my knees physically, emotionally, and financially. It was brutal, but it gave me something unexpected: time to think.

And you know what I discovered? I actually love my solitude. I love nature. I love small, intimate gatherings where you can just be yourself without the performance.

What I don’t love are the needy types who want the results without doing the work. Nope. Not my tribe.

Compassion, but Hold the Drama

I recently read a Harvard study that said people who’ve been through trauma often lose some of their compassion towards others. And I thought: yep, that’s me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a loving, caring human. But I don’t have space for endless drama or pity parties anymore. The truth is, the more we pander and over-sympathise, the longer people stay stuck. And I can say that without judgement because I’ve been there myself. I know what it’s like to sit in that loop. But eventually, you’ve got to roll your eyes at your own excuses, dust yourself off, and take that first (wobbly) step forward. That’s where the healing begins.

What I Really Need (and Maybe You Do Too)

During my downtime, I started asking myself the big question: what do I actually need? Because if I could figure that out for myself, maybe I could help others too, more than I have been.

And here’s what I realised — I’m not into frivolity. I don’t get lit up by small talk or surface-level chatter. What fires me up are deep, meaningful conversations — the kind that start in one place and end up somewhere completely unexpected. My intuition tells me there are plenty more people like me out there. People who want to grow, improve, and stretch into a better version of themselves, but don’t want to be judged for it… or handed some glittery “magic wand” solution that skips the hard work. We want depth and substance.

So, I’ve decided to build my own community. A space that lifts, encourages, teaches, and inspires — but never judges. Somewhere real people can show up as they are, sip their coffee (or tea, no judgement), laugh, cry, share, and grow together.

At first, I was going to call it an academy. But honestly? That feels far too rigid, polished, and, well… boring. This isn’t about ticking boxes or sitting in neat little rows. This is about being real, finding your tribe, and building a space where you can breathe and grow.

Where We Go From Here

So here I am — removing the filter, owning my solitude, keeping the compassion but cutting the drama. If you’re ready to do the work, laugh at yourself along the way, be part of a welcoming community and lean into intuition (with plenty of coffee and sarcasm on the side), then welcome.

You’re my people, my tribe.

I’m currently working on creating this community space behind the scenes. I’m not sure how long it will take, but if you’d like to be the first to know when the membership site launches, click here

No matter how small the steps, we keep moving forward — intuitively.